Over the past year I’ve neglected this blog but at the urging of my nearest and dearest, I’m back! I have tons of stories to update, both personal experiences and those shared by my girlfriends who share #thestruggle.
As for me? I surrender.
No, really. I give up.
I’m sure you’ve heard of Bumble by now, I decided to join a few months ago and I’ll save my experiences with the psychopath I met after a week on it for another post, but last weekend I sent this text to a friend:
“Btw I just analyzed my bumble experience and wrote down my stats. in 3 months, I’ve started convos (women have to initiate) with over 58people (there are some I’ve deleted but these are the ones still open in my history). Of those 58, 36 never responded to me. 8 either stopped engaging in convo (I.e. I was doing all the talking and when I stopped they stopped) or never reached out after I sent them my number. 5 of them I stopped responding, either bc I wasn’t attracted to them at second glance or they said something stupid. 3 just stopped responding to me mid convo. 3 cancelled plans or stood me up. 2 tried to turn convo sexual. Annnnnd 1 was a creeper who wanted pity sex for having stage 4 cancer. Safe to say I gave it a fair shot, yea?”
I realllly tried. Someone told me maybe I was doing bumble wrong by only swiping on men I found really attractive, so I switched it up. I swiped right on men I wasn’t particularly attracted to (i.e. where does your hairline start?, so you’re 5’9″…), I tried my best to be engaging and laugh at their corny jokes…but after months of receiving half engaged responses, sexual harassment, and being flat out ignored… I just don’t have the energy, sooo I deleted bumble.
I have to believe it’s not supposed to feel like work, and THAT was nothing but work. A friend of mine shared an article with me about deciding whether you should pursue dating someone or not in the early stages. I encourage you to read it here: Fuck Yes…. but the basic principle states:
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
If only we all actually stuck to this, I think it would save us all A LOT of time.