“He’s just not that into you, so move on” – Miranda Hobbes

Clearly this opening line has worked for him before.

I’m baaaacccck. New city, still no sex.

So much and so little has happened over the course of the past year. I moved to a new city and met a great guy on bumble….who six months later turned out to be a complete asswipe. So, here I am, back on the bumble/tinder/insert new app here circuit and weeding out f*ckboys day and night. I honestly had to take a break from writing about it, it’s exhausting. I also was happily in a relationship….so I thought.

My…ex (I’m not sure I can call him that) and I matched on bumble…first few good dates turned into few great weeks turned into few awesome months. Next thing you know we’re on our second vacation together, I’m facetiming his entire family for christmas, and we’re spending 5+ days a week with each other. He was great, at least that version of him was.

Six months in I start to notice a shift and suggest that maybe we take a step back from our relationship as he seems a bit disconnected/overwhelemed….

Him: “relationship? we’re not in a relationship…we’re just getting to know each other!”

Oh, really? That’s news to me, and probably your dad who I just got off the phone with after discussing when I’m coming to stay at your parents house…AT YOUR URGING….but I’m not your girlfriend. You have our photo as your screensaver, put me in a group chat with 10 of your family members….but we’re just “getting to know each other”.

And yes folks, we had the DTR talk, we had all the talks about how much of a priority this relationship (his words, not mine) was to him, how committed he was to me, blah blah blah. But somewhere along the way, the child in this manchild came out and he decided to deny reality.

So alas, here I am, back on the swipe scene, fending off di*k pics. Come along for the ride, if nothing else it’s sure to be entertaining :-).


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